Anticipazione

In about a month and a half, I will be in Italy. Prosibly with my best friend.

Definition of Prosible/Prosibly: (adj.) A combination of the words "probable" and "possibly", meaning that an event or situation is slightly more than probably and slightly less than possible.

(Don't ask, it doesn't make any sense to me either.)(Rachael made it up. Pure brilliance!)

Yes, that is correct. I will definitely be in my favorite country prosibly with my favorite person very very soon.
You have absolutely no idea how excited this makes me.

Every day now is going to be a reminder of how this will be the best Christmas break ever. I don't know how I'm going to be able to stay there for only about ten days... I mean, we're talking about the place I want to live, here!! This will be my first time out of the country ever. I'm super excited to see what people in other countries are like... You can get a taste of other nationalities in America, but I bet it's nothing compared to actually being in another country.

Hmm. I just realized I've said "excited" an awful lot. Sorry, I just don't know what other words to use.

I'm manipulating my insomnia into a writers tool- I'm trying to pull something creative out of my butt.

Not... Literally...

So it's pretty late now, at least for me. I usually go to bed on weekdays between nine and ten. But for some reason, I just can't sleep tonight. Maybe it's because I just right now realized I have two assignments due tomorrow. Fantastic. I'm going to go do those. Crappers. Good night!!

-Ayden

My beautiful best friend Rachael
She's a great model!

Hermit Crabs

Have you ever noticed the people that hide as a job?

And I don't mean under-cover cops or CIA agents... I mean people that hide, in the open, because they just don't know any way else to live.

Sometimes I feel like that. Like I'm hiding under someones nose (not a nice view.)

Theres this stupid little jar I have in my room.. It's a baby food jar, but it's empty (I don't have too many babies to feed.) I loathe the thing. Maybe because it reminds me some much of myself.

It's there. I can see it. I can feel it it my hands. If it were to be dropped, I would hear it hit the ground.

But I can see right through it. Like it's not even there at all. I can look past it and to what's behind it, be it my walls or my Buddha statues.

I'm going to put my rings in it tonight. I never take my rings off, but I don't want the jar to feel alone.

At least it will have something inside it.

-Ayden

this is me

ame

<3

simplicity.

dear world

this is how i discover you

through the viewfinder

it's always a bit easier

through the viewfinder

i'm hiding out because i can
and if i can't see you
i think you can see me

simple hide and seek
if only.

Thriving in Insanity

Some days I wake up and just think, "Well. No plans today."

Okay, that's not "some days" it's most days. And a lot of the time that's really nice. Not having anyone wanting something from you, just being able to kick back and listen to music and browse the web.

And then there's days like today, where I wake up (I shouldn't say in the morning; I woke up officially at two in the afternoon. But then again, I didn't go to sleep until well after three) and refuse to pull myself out of bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for someone to text me or call me or say "Hey! Let's do something."

My brother and sister are home again... They were at their grandma's this weekend so that my mom could get her homework done. The two of them drive me nuts, but I really don't understand how I could ever live without them. Oh, here's what they look like, for a little tidbit of your information:

Yeah. We go on "photoventures" a lot. I would suggest going on one today, just to get out of the house, but it's about ten million degrees outside and adding the heat to my already low patience level would just lead to some big catastrophe where no one is happy. Wow, gotta love being a teenager.

I really don't think I understand how easy I've got it, though. I mean, having ICD and anxiety really screws with your head, but honestly I have no idea how my parents can do it. I mean, my dad only has to deal with me and my crazy emotional mood swings, but he also works two jobs and sleeps about five hours a day. And my mom and my step dad not only have me, but they have the two little "stink monsters" ^^ up there. And they both work full work days (well, my step dad works graveyard) and my mom also has college.

And somehow, they all manage to stay sane?

Well, God know's I'm screwed for adulthood.

-Ayden