If it Kills Me

I broke free on a Saturday morning
I put the pedal to the floor
headed north on mills avenue
and listened to the engine roar

my broken house behind me
and good things ahead
a girl named Cathy
wants a little of my time
six cylinders underneath the hood
crashing and kicking
aha!
listen to the engine whine

i am going to make it through this year
if it kills me
i am going to make it though this year
if it kills me

i played video games in a drunken haze
i was seventeen years young
hurt my knuckles punching the machines
the taste of scotch rich on my tongue

and then Cathy showed up
and we hung out
trading swigs from a bottle
all bitter and clean
locking eyes
holding hands
twin high maintenance machines

i am going to make it through this year
if it kills me
i am going to make it though this year
if it kills me

i drove home in the California dusk
i could feel the alcohol inside of me hum
pictured the look on my stepfather's face
ready for the bad things to come
i down shifted
as i pulled into the driveway
the motor screaming out
stuck in second gear
the scene ends badly
as you might imagine
in a cavalcade of anger and fear

there will be feasting and dancing
in Jerusalem next year

i am going to make it through this year
if it kills me
i am going to make it though this year
if it kills me


[Rachael- If you learn it on guitar, I'll learn the piano part. And we can record it]

Fireworks [for Rachael]

I can't lift you up cause my mind is tired, it's family beaches that I desire
That sacred night where we watched the fireworks
They frightened the babies and you know they've got two flashing eyes
And if they are color blind, they make me feel, that you're only what I see sometimes 

Heartbeat City

Where you been darling, darling?

As you magnificently observant blog readers may have noticed, I changed my banner picture. Feel it more accurately represents my personality. Yes, that is correct, I am a murderous psycho-bitch. Take it as it be.

This was the most fantastic weekend of my life. It was the first time I had ever stayed home alone. No, I did not throw a crazy party of the year and have giant orgies. I had my two best friends over and we hung out. And it was the best time I had in a very long time. 

Now I have to look forward to school tomorrow. Ew. But hey, it's life. I got a pretty great weekend. And you sorta got to pay for the great things with making it through the crappy things. 

Friday is Halloween at my school. How would you describe Halloween at Orange County High School of the Arts? Hm. It's a holiday. Bigger than Christmas. Almost as cool as the last day when the seniors display that year's attempt of a senior prank (Class of 2010 still owns). I don't know how it is at normal high schools, but if you don't come dressed up on Halloween, you're considered the weird one. 

Rachael and I have a pretty good idea this year, if I may say so myself. I don't know if we're ever going to actually get it done, considering the fact that we need to have this stuff ready for Friday and we don't have anything we need. I think we're going to this "Halloween Mega Store" that opened up where Circuit City used to be. 

Does anyone know where you can find a top hat?

Okay... Quick music change on the iPod... Now a subject change. Italy is literally calling my name. I'm definitely going over winter break... Unfortuanetly, I don't think Rachael is going to be able to go with me. But once I get a job this summer I'll make sure the two of us are saving up money and maybe the two of us could go after we graduate.

Yes, I wrote that whole thing as if I was talking to Rachael. Prosibly because she's basically the only person that actually reads my blog. And I doubt anyone would contest that.

Okay, I'm getting the Sunday Night Sleepies... I'm going to go lay down and do... something. Eat ice cream. Drink water. I don't know. Sunday Night Sleepy things. 

-Ayden

*No photo ending today... Blogger is being moody. Stupid women.*

Anticipazione

In about a month and a half, I will be in Italy. Prosibly with my best friend.

Definition of Prosible/Prosibly: (adj.) A combination of the words "probable" and "possibly", meaning that an event or situation is slightly more than probably and slightly less than possible.

(Don't ask, it doesn't make any sense to me either.)(Rachael made it up. Pure brilliance!)

Yes, that is correct. I will definitely be in my favorite country prosibly with my favorite person very very soon.
You have absolutely no idea how excited this makes me.

Every day now is going to be a reminder of how this will be the best Christmas break ever. I don't know how I'm going to be able to stay there for only about ten days... I mean, we're talking about the place I want to live, here!! This will be my first time out of the country ever. I'm super excited to see what people in other countries are like... You can get a taste of other nationalities in America, but I bet it's nothing compared to actually being in another country.

Hmm. I just realized I've said "excited" an awful lot. Sorry, I just don't know what other words to use.

I'm manipulating my insomnia into a writers tool- I'm trying to pull something creative out of my butt.

Not... Literally...

So it's pretty late now, at least for me. I usually go to bed on weekdays between nine and ten. But for some reason, I just can't sleep tonight. Maybe it's because I just right now realized I have two assignments due tomorrow. Fantastic. I'm going to go do those. Crappers. Good night!!

-Ayden

My beautiful best friend Rachael
She's a great model!