Hermit Crabs

Have you ever noticed the people that hide as a job?

And I don't mean under-cover cops or CIA agents... I mean people that hide, in the open, because they just don't know any way else to live.

Sometimes I feel like that. Like I'm hiding under someones nose (not a nice view.)

Theres this stupid little jar I have in my room.. It's a baby food jar, but it's empty (I don't have too many babies to feed.) I loathe the thing. Maybe because it reminds me some much of myself.

It's there. I can see it. I can feel it it my hands. If it were to be dropped, I would hear it hit the ground.

But I can see right through it. Like it's not even there at all. I can look past it and to what's behind it, be it my walls or my Buddha statues.

I'm going to put my rings in it tonight. I never take my rings off, but I don't want the jar to feel alone.

At least it will have something inside it.

-Ayden

Questionable Behavior

A lot of times, I'm asked why I wear a "Jesus bracelet."

Most people who know me know that I am Buddhist, but I do not consider myself religious in any way shape or form. I feel that my Buddhism is more of a way of thinking that teaches me to better myself. In my beliefs, there is no "God" I pray to, no place to go to repent for sins. Buddha, or Siddhartha, was a man, not in any way a celestial being, who learned through suffering and frustration what it meant, to him, to be a better person.

Before we get any crazy religious talk, let me inform you that Siddhartha was raised Hindu. He was a very rich and powerful son of a lord, and had everything his heart desired. But as most people experience, having everything sometimes feels like you have nothing. So he took it upon himself and abandoned his comfortable life in the search of his own true happiness.

Buddhism has nothing to do with God or higher powers. The only person that is the higher power is yourself, and to become a true Buddhist you must realize that you are the only one that can change the way your life is and the outcome of certain things. Praying to an invisible being whom may or may not be there is no guarantee. On the other hand, accepting your flaws and working to make yourself a happier or better person is entirely under your control.

In my "religion," there is no one there holding my hand on the path to happiness. I'm stuck as I am and if I cannot learn how to become satisfied with who I am and what I have, I will never be satisfied with anything I ever earn.

Siddhartha, or Buddha, is a man I look up to. He took what everyone would like of as a perfect life and dumped it out, choosing to live his life in the way that made him happier and more confident of himself. There weren't very many rewards for him- No riches, no palaces, no worship and no cliche perfection. But in the end, when he came to his death, he was able to look back upon his life and think to himself, "You know what? I did good. I didn't have a nice place to live and I'm not rolling in money but I made myself happy and I made other people happy." And that's all that matters.

So, back to the initial question of why I wear a "Jesus bracelet." Want to know the truth? It's because the little Jesus on the bracelet looks like he's flipping you off.

-Ayden