I know, it's only six weeks into the school year. And here I sit, procrastinating doing my late math homework.
It's not like I have anything against math... Oh no, wait, I definitely do. Math was made up somewhere along the line when they deemed electric chairs and limb stretchers inhumane. So they came up with mathematics. Math is torture that does not screw up your body, it just fucks with your brain. (Pardon my French)
These math teachers stand at the front of the class preaching to the crowds of poor, suffering children/young adults, expecting them to not only understand but to PAY ATTENTION. What can I say? This whole "math requirement" to graduate is a cruel and [un]usual punishment.
And then, these evil creators of torture (so-called "mathematicians") decided to make everyone's life even harder. You want to know what they did this time? They used their insanely confusing brain functions and created the internet. And not too long after that, they created Facebook.
Pure, pure torture. I can just picture my own math teacher, so cool and collected on the outside, sitting at his desk during his student-free period, laughing maniacally as he works on the Facebook subliminal messages, making that stupid webpage more and more addicting as his math assignments grow in length and difficulty. He knows us students have no clue what is n equals, and he also knows that we do not care. So he decides to screw us over by giving us crazy tests that we have no idea how to do and end up FAILING miserably.
I'm not really sure if this makes any sense at all to anyone reading this... I'm multi-tasking as I write this (music, Facebook, math homework) so it's more of a mental explosion on the page. Enjoy this as you sit there attempting to do your own math homework, and realize that your brain is slowly melting out of your ears.
Welcome to the party.
-Ayden
PS- Here's a little picture that somewhat relates to math, but would make everyone's life so much better if math was actually this simple.
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